This past year has been a year of great internal struggle. Most of my struggle has focused around whether I am in the place I am supposed to be, doing what it is I am supposed to do, and making the decisions I am supposed to be making regarding my children. I believe that God has a correct path for each of us, and I am struggling with whether or not I am on that path. I have not yet figured it out. I still do not have complete peace. Yet, as I prayer through this, I feel there is one concrete thing I need to do to bring a little bit of steadiness to my seemingly uncertain situation — I need to get organized.
It has been three years since we have moved to this home, and three years where I really haven’t focused on getting things organized. I still feel like I am living in my “new” home, when I should be fully occupying it at this point. To my shame, I have boxes of decor stuffed away in the closet – my walls and shelves remain mostly bare, save what is needed to function on a daily basis. My poor excuse is that it is the perfectionist in me. I don’t want to do something until I can do it “right”. I have visions of the perfect paint job, flooring, light-fixtures . . . But, it is time I start making this “new” home our true home.
As I enter a new year, I want to enter it with faith “. . . that He who has begun a good work in (me) will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus” (Phil. 1:6); I am not yet completed, and my answers will come in His time. I want to enter it with joy and contentment in my current circumstances, but with the willingness to change if that is what is required of me. And finally, I want to enter it with the resolve to organize (or re-organize) that with which I have been entrusted, and to complete what I have left undone for so long in order to create a place of comfort for my family.
I am returning to this blog to once more chronicle my journey to a place of order, and to provide myself with some accountability as I record my weekly progress. This week, I will be unpacking those forgotten boxes shoved under the staircase closet for far too long, and finally putting some holes in my walls, whether or not I like the paint job.